The top 10 quotes overheard in the classroom

We’ve selected 10 of the funniest comments overheard in the classroom from our archives. Have you heard anything as funny since you’ve returned to school?

Tweet us your entries to @tes with the hashtag #TESoverheard or email and the best entry of the week will get a flashing TES pen and TES mug. Ooooooooh…


Teacher: “What technique is being used in this poem?”

Student: “It’s a metaphor.”

Second student (laughing): “He said metaphor – that’s when women don’t get their periods anymore.”


Student: “Bob Geldof went to Africa to shave the orphans.”


Farmhand (pointing to the turkeys): “What do you think these are? Clue: you eat them at Christmas.”

Student: “Sprouts.”


Six-year-old student: “Miss, are you a lesbian?”

Teacher: “I don’t think that’s an appropriate question.”

Student: “Well, you don’t eat meat, do you?”

Teacher: “You mean vegetarian.”


During a discussion in a history lesson.

Student: “In the war, some soldiers wore bulletproof breasts.”


Watching a DVD of Jesus Christ Superstar.

Student whispering to neighbour: “Does he die in the end?”


Student: “In 1845, the Irish people were dying of salvation.”


Student: “What’s Obama’s surname?”


A pupil is being reprimanded for making a toy gun.

Head: “I was told you were pointing this at people and shouting ‘bang, bang’.”

Pupil (indignant): “I didn’t!”

Head: “Are you saying your teacher is lying?”

Pupil: “No, I said ‘pow, pow’.”


From a homework project in which students were asked to research the life and work of a famous scientist:

“Stephen Hawkins (sic) showed that space and time would start with the big band and end with black holes.”

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